The Christmas lights came on in Edinburgh tonight at 5.45pm. The ferris wheel started to turn. The German Market opened its gates. Princes St Gardens was transformed. Less than a month until Christmas.
Christmas is the single biggest event in our cultural life. As it rolls around, you’re either caught up in it or – much harder – you’re avoiding it. While still a spiritual/religious occasion, Christmas’ cultural importance is largely secular, crossing as many cultural divisions as possible.
The secular meaning of Christmas is an uplifting one: it is a time of goodwill and generosity. It’s pretty hard to fault these principles. The world could do with a lot more goodwill and generosity. Of course, Christmas as enacted in Western culture often falls short of this.
In fact, our biggest cultural event is also our most compromised and unsatisfying. There are enormous problems with many aspects of Christmas: the massive consumerism that underlies the occasion is a very obvious example.
So do something about it.
Fix Christmas.
(Now here’s the breathtaking revelation. I bet it is so startlingly clever no-one reading this has ever thought it before!)
Christmas isn’t something mandated by the world outside your door. There are no Christmas police checking up on your adherence to evil Capitalist principles. Christmas – here’s the kicker! – is something you and your family can do your way.
Okay, so it isn’t a huge revelation. Most people have had these thoughts before. Well, start turning thought into deed. Have a conscious Christmas, one that celebrates the values you cherish and denies the values you don’t. Why not now?
Here’s my request of you all, then: this Christmas, think about how to fix next Christmas.
Over on Musical, Cal talks about a bunch of ways to do Christmas differently. Check them out. We’ve timed our posts to appear together for a reason, folks.
Over here, I’d love to hear from people who’ve already adapted Christmas to suit. Tell people what you/you and your family/you and your friends have done to make Christmas a time of year you savor. Let this comments section be a big ideas bucket.
After all, our biggest cultural festival should be a good time, shouldn’t it?
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This, of course, ties in to the greater goals of the progressive movement that I’ve been rabbiting on about the last few weeks. We want everyone to be more aware of the cultural forces acting on us, and the hidden paths we are constantly skipping past unawares.
You and your family, or whoever you celebrate with – your Christmas is one small thing. But: journeys, single steps, think global act local, etc etc etc. In other words, it matters. Actually, it more than matters – it’s the whole point.
My family don’t want to spend too much money at Xmas so we limit present spending to $20 (more or less…) BUT I didn’t want too many less presents, so last year we started with ‘the present game’.
You have a bunch of $5 presents in a box and everyone gets a number (we used twice as many presents as people so it’d last longer) the first person chooses and opens a present. The second person can either choose a present from the box and open it or steal the first person’s present. If your present is stolen you can open a new one or steal off someone else. It’s ridiculously good fun and silly as, especially if you get presents that many people want.
Apart from that we do much the same as we always did, with Mum making a big lunch and stressing out about my grandmother. Hmmmmm how do I change that?
Added my thoughts on my blog, Left & Lefter
Well, being a Christian I ahve long had thoughts on Christ Mass.
I am annoyed at the way it has been hitched by multinational corporations and turned into the antithesis of what it should be about. This works on a secular or religious level. It’s about celebrating life, celebrating fellowship with each other and loving other people.
Since we came here it has been very low key. But it used to be a wonderfully exhausting day of seeing family and friends. And I loved it.
We used to go to one friends place for christmas breakfast, to mums for a lunch BBQ, to dads for afternoon tea and then have friends over in the evening for general mooching off the effects of all the overeating.
This is what christmas is about. Celebrating relationship and love. Obviously from a Christian perspective it also included celebrating the fact that a way has come for people to have relationshipa nd rpeace with God, but as I celebrate that every day I don’t see why Christmas should be different.
Natalya is the queen of making up new christmas traditions. She developed the story of the christmas fish (to explain the icthus symbol she mad instead of a tree) and the Chirstmas dragon to explain Galveston the dragons guarding of the horad of presents and a bunch of other christmas traditions.
I think she should publish them.
Personally I rejected the consumerism and modern meaning of Christmas years ago and have been doing what I wanted to do ever since.
I still haven’t mamnged to arrange a Christmas pohutukawa though. That’s quite a feat.
Can I be there when your six-year old comes down on Christmas morning to find he’s donated a goat to Oxfam?
From http://www.acay.com.au/~silkroad/buddha/p_truths.htm
In “The Vision of the Buddha” by Tom Lowenstein, the Buddha says:
“What, monks, is the truth of suffering? Birth is suffering, decay, sickness and death are suffering. To be separated from what you like is suffering. To want something and not get it is suffering. In short, the human personality, liable as it is to clinging and attachment brings suffering.”
The second noble truth is that suffering in its broad sense, comes from desire, and specifically, desire for meeting our expectations and for self fulfilment as we see it. By desiring for ourselves rather than the whole, we will always have suffering.
In the same way that a child wants a new toy and then, having achieved that, will long for yet another, we seek fulfilment of our desire, to then move on to another. All the time, our lives are only temporarily satisfied.
End quote. Am I in danger of becoming a Buddhism spammer?
> Can I be there when your six-year old
> comes down on Christmas morning to find
> he’s donated a goat to Oxfam?
Obviously I’m not advocating a complete top-down microcultural makeover with like-it-or-lump-it rules for those out of the decisionmaking circle. The quest is for a balance – for finding a ground that satisfies all sufficiently without sacrificing to much for comfort. For that to be worthwhile, the interests of all parties need to be represented, and it is unrealistic to expect any six-year-old to opt out of Christmas presents.
Lots of elements of “mainstream” Christmas make a lot of sense for those with children, particularly small children. (And not just from the point of view of the child – offering a gift to a young ‘un is one of life’s great simple pleasures.) In a conscious Christmas, it would be right to honour these special elements of the Christmas celebration fully. But there is a flipside even to generosity towards children, and that is the way it can reinforce the unpleasant messages embedded in the festival that value is principally to be found in the trappings of consumption. The challenge to parents of young children is walking the line between the two points – depriving children of joy, and educating them in a noxious principle. It may be the two can never be fully separated, but this project doesn’t ask for success – just for mindfulness, and a sincere attempt to address problems that it is all too easy to ignore.
Regardless, kids tearing off wrapping paper may be wonderful, but this isn’t a part of the Christmas celebration for most people. And yet the basic structure of Christmas celebration remains the same. Perhaps this is exactly as it should be; but perhaps not. Each celebratory circle will have its own answers to these questions.
It is incumbent on us all to interrogate our assumptions. We have to make our culture work for our principles, not the other way around.
But then I’m sure you know most of this already, mum. 🙂
> Am I in danger of becoming a Buddhism spammer?
If so, it would be a very welcome one. Even though no-one ever seems to have much to say in response. That’s probably a sign of the value, though. If there is a better spiritual methodology than the Eightfold Path, I am yet to encounter it.
Hey Morgue did anyone point out that the Greens have been talking about the same thing here in NZ? They were suggesting making your kids worm farms for Christmas amongst other things.
I think it’s a splendid idea. Though the only Xmas presents I ever buy are for my mum, and the tradition is that I add to her Beatles collection. This year I may have to get something for my new-found sister, especially as I missed her birthday – though I can probably get away with making something for her. (You’re not reading this are you, Marama?)
“In the same way that a child wants a new toy and then, having achieved that, will long for yet another, we seek fulfilment of our desire, to then move on to another. All the time, our lives are only temporarily satisfied.”
To look at this from another angle, there is a great book called Desiring God. It basically suggests that in our soiciety we are always going for second best, relationships, gifts, drugs, property etc when we we should be seeking is Joy from the Ultimate Joy Giver as it were (God). It is a fascinating and challenging book. It has a great quote from CS Lewis that I’ll have to find and post, basically saying that we are like children who are happy making mud huts in the gutter and who refuse to go to the beach because we don’t know what a beach is.
Certianly biblically the modern message of Christmas goes against Christs own teaching. The modern christmas teaches consumerism, want and desire, a longing for the earthly things of this world. Whereas Christ told us not to desire treasures of earth where mold and rust will decay them, but to store up treasures in heaven where they will be with us for eternity.
Of course this whole message puts me in danger of becoming a Christian spammer 😉
Actually I think I probably already am.
> Of course this whole message puts me in danger of becoming a Christian spammer ;)”
Again, a most welcome one! We don’t want Buddha to get all the good press after all.
Well, a few of you already know that I’ve decided to give up Christmas this year. I’ve been threatening to do so for a few years, but this time I’ve actually made a move to do something about it. It’s mostly about giving up presents, but my family won’t be doing a big meal either as a result.
I’m only acquiring 3 presents, for the people who enquiries have already got me a present. I’m not so hardcore as to not give anything in return.
For the record though, I’m not getting rid of as much of Christmas as I can out of some kind of desire to change the world. Christmas just makes me unhappy. So I decided not to put up with it. Of course, it makes me unhappy because I’m not a capitalist, I’m a hippy, and I’m not a Christian, I’m a Pagan. But still, I’m not doing it because of my ideals, just because I can’t handle it.
In previous years I’ve tried not to spend too much on people, I’ve tried making presents rather than buying them, I’ve tried only getting presents for those who I strictly have to and I’ve tried getting my immediate family to pool their present money and buy something for the whole family together (a DVD player).
Guess what? None of it works. The worst ones on the list are the spending less, and the making presents options. Both triple the amount of Christmas stress, and the making presents option doesn’t even save any money – It’s usually more expensive than just buying something would be.
This works. Taking a deliberate stance that Christmas is out to get you, and you should avoid it where ever possible, or at least wear protective safety gear when you can’t. I know it’s not a viable option for everyone, but if it is, I reccommend it.
YES, ANNE!
Cal has just pointed me to your comment, after my posting one on hers. You go Girl! I wanna be there too!
I’ve been hum-ing and ha-ing for a few days now, trying to decide if I wanted to post my thoughts onto this thread.
Oh well, here goes.
I hate Christmas. In particular I hate the way it makes me feel.
But, please, let me try to explain. Let me attempt a justification for this grinchness.
First I want to categorically state that my hatred of Christmas is not a reflection of my views on Christianity. I appreciate and understand that some people at this time of year do honestly celebrate and reflect on the event of Jesus. That’s great, and I respect them for that.
But my first area of annoyance is the mid-winter or yule trappings that traditional Christmas comes with. Down here in New Zealand we’re celebrating mid-summer, not mid-winter. It’s like celebrating Samhain in October – just wrong. It’s spring, celebrate life, not death! And at this time of year we should be celebrating the sun, the ripening of the year – not the cold, not staying indoors hiding from the elements!
But, the mis-timing of the symbols isn’t really the thing that I’m hating. It’s not even the rampant commercialism. That annoys me all times of the year, not just Christmas. And I’m a consumer through and through anyway – just check my credit card statements.
No, it’s the emphasis on family that causes me to hate this time of year.
I’m not close to my family. I never have been, and as the years have gone by I’ve withdrawn from them more and more. Now maybe that’s a personal fault. But for me it’s been a deliberate decision, to help me minimize pain and conflict in my own life.
But at this time of year I’m constantly exposed to messages that “to be happy you should have a family around you.” I can’t do that… for me to be happy, I shouldn’t have my family around me. But these messages sink in, and leave me feeling that I’m wrong, that I’ve made a mistake, that I’m a bad person for deciding to live apart from my family.
So, as Evie said, I try to avoid Christmas wherever possible. If I can’t, I do my best to minimise the harm it does to my psyche. But, at the end of the day, I’ll inevitably end up alone at some stage of the day getting stung by feelings of guilt I don’t really need.
But, back to the question: “Tell people what you and your friends have done to make Christmas a time of year you savor.”
I ignore it as much as possible, instead I focus on good things at this time of year. The weather. The way it gets nice and quiet around work and everyone relaxes. My birthday on the 19th. New Year’s parties. Public holidays. Cheap stuff in the post-Christmas specials. The joy of children, who haven’t learnt the pain of thinking too much about stuff. The way Karori becomes so quiet as people go away for the holidays.
And, over the years, I’ve found it’s fully possible to enjoy this time of year to the fullest, without doing anything to do with Christmas.
But the day itself is sometimes quite hard, and sometimes quite sad, so I hate the way it makes me feel.
peace, out.